Beginning of Self Doubt

I wrote this about a teacher I had in 4th grade. I was telling my therapist about the experience, after she asked when my self-esteem took a turn for the worst. I wrote it in the 3rd person.

Beginning of Self-Doubt

She feels she’s second rate, at best.

She didn’t pass the arithmetic test.
Things on the test were foreign and new
and things she never learned in school.

The teacher knew she was way behind,

but instead of helping, she was so unkind.
She sent her to the board to show
the other kids what she didn’t know.

She heard them snickering while she tried

to solve the problem as she almost cried
from embarrassment, ridicule, and shame,
but she stuffed it in to hide her pain.

So that was the beginning of feeling self-doubt,

and thinking that she has no right to speak out.
Even though she knows deep inside she is smart,
the damage began with her teacher’s cruel heart.

 Copyright ©2009 Rose Mary West Ekerholm